What's On My Mind

Just a quick post while both kids are napping (ok so Caden hasn't' even fallen asleep yet and is still playing in his bed--but hey, its peaceful!) and I even got to finish some work already. So just some random things on my mind and what's going on:

Car Alarms--I decided I sort of hate them. They go off ALL the time in our condo complex and mostly during my kids nap times or in the middle of the night. Last night there was one (the same one) going off every hour for like a minute straight. Apparently whoever owned the car either didn't care or is on vacation. Or is a really sound sleeper. Cuz I heard it. At 12. At 1am..and at 2am...all the way until 7am. Oh did I mention they send Roxy into a barking frenzy? I think my 4 pound dog is the only one who really thinks someone might actually be stealing the car, and thus goes into crazy defense mode. But the car owner must own an amazing set of ear plugs.

VBS--Those three letters sort of define my life right now. (Those letters or P-o-o-p. But that's another diaper filled story for another diaper filled day). ;)
We are in crazy count down mode to the biggest event of the year for our ministry. With 2000 kids coming to take over the campus, we have a LOT to do. And since I was missing in action for 2 months (i.e. birthing a child and the aftermath of that event), I have a TON to do. I find myself having to not think about it when I am awake in the middle of the night with Tessa or I can't fall back asleep. So I try to pray for VBS without going into too much detail, or I start stressing out about the details and making a mental list of what I need to do. God know the details without me listing them, right? Right. :)

3 hours--this is my new magic number. I am really trying to keep Tessa's feedings to this stretch of time. From the day that kid came out, she would eat every hour if I let her. I figure since at night time she can go up to 5 or 6 hours in between feedings, during the day I can now work on having her consistently be at 3 hours in between. It seemed much easier to push Caden to longer stretches when he was a baby. But my baby girl seems to have a flair for the dramatic (imagine that, where does she get it from) and its been a challenge. But her new found love of the pacifier is helping. Praise God for the paci. I am so glad I kept trying it with her cuz now she is quite a fan. But not so much of a fan that she has to have it all during the night, thus it doesn't interrupt her sleep if it falls out. Ahh the perfect balance. (For now...things change with this kid every week but I will celebrate this victory while I can!)

Friday--I am excited for Friday because Jon is taking the day off work. He has to take 2 vacation days before the end of June or he loses them, so this is one that works great for us both. We have mostly been using his time off for child care issues--having no sitter and I have to work, so Jon takes hours/day off. So I am excited to have a full "vacation" day together. We are planning on going to Irvine Park for some train and zoo fun!

Caffeine--I love it. I need it. I thought once maybe I should cut down on it. Then I remembered I have 2 kids, an almost full time job, and may or may not look forward to my morning coffee with delicious flavored creamer and my free diet cokes I get at work more than I look forward to most things in my day. So its staying.

Online Shopping- I am pretty sure my kids would have no clothes if it wasn't for this. I heart www.oldnavy.com. I am getting really good at shopping when they have online deals and/or free shipping, and getting some great sale items for the kids. Cuz let's be honest, getting 2 kids in the car and having them be happy so I can grab some shorts and onesies that fit AIN'T happening these days. So when I can nurse AND shop at the same time--I'm sold. Literally.


Ok that's all. Time to enjoy this free time by taking a power nap before Tessa wakes up...and she usually does...right when I close my eyes..;)

I Can Wait

Lately I've been finding myself saying the phrase "I can't wait until..." a lot. "I can't wait until Tessa can sit up and play", "I can't wait until we can go on a family vacation", "I can't wait until this event is over at work", "I can't wait until we have a backyard", "I can't wait for Jon and I to have consistent date nights", I can't wait... I can't wait... I can't wait...While looking to future is exciting its no secret that constantly wishing for the future and/or bigger and better things can often blind you to what's going on in the present. So I am trying to cut that phrase out of my vocabulary when it comes to people asking me how I am, what's going on with the kids or my current situation. Because truly, I can wait. There's no hurry. There are great things going on right now. And to be real, even though there a few aspects of my life that are daily frustrating and inconvenient, there are many aspects of my life that will pass me by quickly if I don't stop, take in the moments and enjoy where I am at. I have a 10 week old who is as smiley as ever, and is just seconds away from giggling (I can feel it!). I have a 2 year old who says something hilarious and or adorable atleast every hour (my current favorites: 'Hey Big Mama!' (he recently discovered this adjective (big) and likes to attach it to everything--including my name. I am trying not to take it personal); his pretend games of hide and seek where he (quite obviously) hides things and then pretends to have NO idea where they went. "Where'd it go mama? (with hands in the air) Where'd it go?"; spontaneous outbursts of love--I hear him somewhere else in the house yelling "Mama! Mama!" then once he finds me he says "hug!" and proceeds to hug me and let me hold him. Sometimes it lasts a while, sometimes its only a second, but its one of my favorite things in the world.)
All that to say, life can be hard with 2 little ones, a job that is mentally and emotionally demanding, and all the other things that are demanded of all of us living this thing called life. But why wish for things to be over when I will soon be looking back wondering where time went as we so often do. Why not enjoy what we have, be thankful to the One who gave it to us, and listen to His voice as He teaches us through our circumstances and surroundings. None of this is ground breaking, or a new revelation we all haven't heard before...but its where I am at and a reminder I need. Maybe that is why I cry every time Trace Adkins song "You're Gonna Miss This" comes on. Cuz I don't wanna miss it. And while its fun and perfectly ok to dream, and hope and even plan, I pray it doesn't compromise my ability to be content. Because I CAN wait.

Back to Reality

Just a quick post of some pics! I headed back to work a week ago (May 17th) and now officially need to use any and all free time during kids naps for a nap for ME! I am so tired! :) Being back at work is nuts--great to be back with friends and have some adult interaction, but of course miss my kids like crazy. It makes me appreciate even more walking in the door and hear Caden yell "mama!"and now having to hold Tessa during her fussy times (which are getting fewer, praise God!) isn't quite so taxing. :)
So here are some pics of those kids I miss like crazy each Monday and Thursday.


His cheesy "Cheese!" face

Roxy loves Tessa

Caden loves bubbles in his bath!

Soooo tired....

Its Hard Not to Laugh

So what do you do when you find your 2 year old like this? Well, it took everything within me not to laugh. I literally had to turn away, pretend to get a stern face on and scold Caden...as I ran to get the camera. Contradictory? Yes. Priceless? DEFINITELY. Sure, its a little scary--or a LOT scary, but stinkin' adorable. (By the way, leading up to this I was scared for 3 minutes searching the house for him. I could hear him talking and laughing to him self but couldn't find him. And mind you, our house is less that 1000 sq. feet. I tore through the house and finally found him in the open dryer. I had left it open mid "switch" (about to put clothes in) because Tessa started crying. Then didn't see Caden so started searching around. In those couple of minutes he found a new place to hide).

And man, was he proud of himself.

I find myself having to fake being stern atleast once a day because his naughtiness is often pretty funny. (To be realistic, some times its very NOT funny and I have to fake being calm when everything in me wants to yell) So now I know, don't leave the dryer open (I usually don't) EVER and work on my scolding face...and try not to let him hear me laughing.

Oh yeah-- here is a new picture of Tessa that everyone keeps saying she looks just like me! I love hearing that. Jon gets a mini Jon, so don't I deserve a mini Jen?! :)

So Much to Catch Up On...So Little Time

So here I am, 7 weeks after Tessa Kate was born FINALLY getting around to a blog! I posted pictures on Facebook of the exciting day, but definitely wanted to put them here!
Tessa Kate's birth went pretty much best case scenario--checked in at 7am, was laboring by 8:30am thanks to Pitocin. Then they broke my water (which they waited to do until an anesthesiologist was close by thankfully! Epidural please!), Epidural happened (painlessly), and was feeling good soon after! I kind of stalled out at around 5 cm about 11:00am ish (or so I thought) so was just hanging out...they checked me again at 11:30 and still was a 5 so my sister and I suggested to Jon that he go down to the cafeteria and grab some lunch. He said he was fine so we all continued to just hang out--chatting, me munching on ice chips and a Popsicle...then around 12 Jon finally decided to go down and grab something to eat for himself. The nurse had told me at 11:30am that when I start feeling pressure, then let her know. Well around 12:30 I definitely felt pressure (Jon is still gone eating--cafeteria is on the opposite side of the hospital in the basement), but didn't really say anything. Finally at 1 the nurse came in to check me and I told her I definitely felt pressure. So she checked me and her exact words were, "Well hello baby!" Yep--she was there and ready! I started laughing and the nurse said "Don't laugh! Seriously! She is right there!" A 5 to a 10 in about an hour! So Kristi (my sis) quickly got on the phone to call Jon...and he didn't pick up...and didn't pick up....and didn't respond to texts...what seemed like forever (about 8 minutes to be exact) I finally called him and he picked up (he didnt hear the other calls) and I said "Um, yeah I'm a 10! So..the doctor is on her way..." He quickly replied--I" just got my food but I will be right there! I will throw it away!" I irrationally said (feeling bad) "Well, you can eat some..or bring it up here or something..." He had already hung up at this point, as he was currently shoving half a Philly Cheese steak down his throat and running back to the room. He was there by 1:15, and my Dr was there at 1:20. They set some things up, and 2 pushes later, at 1:32pm, Tessa Kate arrived! 6 pounds 13 ounces and 19 inches. She was perfect! It was so fun to "announce" her name to my sister who was there in the room, and to everyone there after.
Overall, the hospital experience was great--a contrast to our experience with Caden. (We love Hoag, but had some scares/drama with Caden with a heart issue and my nerve damage in my knee.) But this time it was all easy breezy and great!
My parents brought Caden as soon as we got down to our Post Pardum room, and he got to meet his little sis! He was definitely more excited and interested in the Big Brother gifts he received. One from Tessa (matchbox cars), and others from Aunt Sue and Grammie Kathy and Poppie. He was sort of ambivolent about Tessa over all, but had lots to be distracted with since we had a lot of visitors at the time.
We were ready to head home and checked out by 2pm on Wednesday (had a slight delay though we were ready and waiting to leave by 10am. The pediatrician insisted on an ultrasound on Tessa's spine cuz they were concerned about something...but everything came back clear and it ended up being nothing, Praise God! What's a hospital stay without a little scare, right?!)
It was so good to finally be home, and it was emotional for me to get there and see my two kids together. Reality set in and I had a mix of emotions--happiness and yet a little apprehension and sadness as I saw Caden and realized how much things have changed so quickly. But as soon as I heard my little man repeatedly say "Baby! Baby!" or ask where she was when she was out of the room, my heart warmed and realized that as everyone said, he wouldn't remember life without her. Sure, he occasionally tells me to put her down( "Baby chair? Baby night night?!") when we wants my attention. But their bond is already growing and I can't wait for it to strengthen as they both get older.
So there is the abridged version of Tessa Kate Epperson's entrance into the world. The weeks that followed were filled with many friends and family members visiting, bringing meals and gifts and adjustment to change. Tessa is thankfully an amazing sleeper at night--waking once, maybe twice (at most) a night. 11pm-4pm is her normal stretch and I LOVE it! (Trying not to get to used to it since everything changes so quickly with babies!) But that makes up for her frequent eating during the day and sometimes fussy evenings. She's an entirely different baby than Caden, as she should be. She's all girl. Dramatic, moody, and beautiful. (Caden was, but in a manly sort of way). She's dainty and pretty. And if you do something she doesn't like, she will let you know. Immediately.
I love having a little girl--I love dressing her, (I may or may not change her into many outfits each day), holding her, and getting to know her. I can't wait to see her little unique personality. My family joked that our baby would have some big shoes to fill since Caden has such a big, fun and hilarious personality. Now that she is here I have learned that she is going to have her OWN shoes--and they are going to be girly, sparkly and sassy. Cuz man, is she.
So here is the photo journey of Tessa Kate's birth--March 15th, 2010. One of the best days of my life!

About to head to the hospital! The "T" we ordered for her room (we kept her name a secret so this was our little secret letter no one knew about!)

Laboring...with the epidural. Hence the smile. :)

Here she is!

6 pounds 13 ounces 19 inches long!

Dr Christina Lee

My sister! So glad she could fly out from Oklahoma and be there!

Grandpa Tom and Grammie Lori

Grammie Kathy

Grandpa Tom

Aunt Sue

Big Brother coming to meet his new sister!

New Big Brother present (from Tessa, of course)

Contemplating all the change...;-)

"Um, what are you holding, Dad?"

First picture as a family of four!

Aunt Jamie and Uncle Chewie

Poppie

First bath (What is this nurse doing to my baby? ;-) haha Tessa wasn't a fan of the bath!)

Nice and cozy

First smile captured on camera!

She's not a fan of getting dressed...

First Converse (thanks Aunt Sue!)

Heading home!

So tiny in her car seat!

"Um..what is this? And is it staying?"

Aunt B coming to visit!

Here She Comes!

Well, here we go--tomorrow is the big day! Today ended up being a crazy day. I of course was emotional for lots of reasons, had to work out getting Caden to Grammie and Poppie's (my parents), getting Roxy to her "slumber party" (Jodi's house), then finishing packing and processing everything all at the same time! My sister's flight had some complications which caused a little bit of stress, but God is so good and honestly worked out a little miracle to get her here tonight so she can be there tomorrow. (Long story short--she missed her flight in Houston because a flight attendant was sick on her Tulsa flight, so they had to just sit and wait for another one, thus causing her to miss her connection in Houston. When she knew this, she attempted to get on standby on a later flight to California and was #30 on a list. Everything is full since its spring break. By the time she got to Houston, she checked in to see what her chances were to get on the flight or ANY flight even though it seemed slim, and apparently someone called from Tulsa and got her bumped up to #1 on standby and she got on the flight! So amazing! Knowing my sister, the combination of prayer and telling everyone within ear shot that she was going to see her sister have a baby made someone make a call (thank you God!). So she is flying in late tonight, and will be able to be there tomorrow morning with us at the hospital. YAY!!!
As I said earlier, I am still processing all of this excitement. I still can't believe tomorrow we will meet our daughter. I am so excited, and getting a little nervous, but mostly just anxious to hold her in my arms and have that moment where I get to look at her tiny face and see what she looks like, and see every little part God knit together. I am excited for Caden to get to meet his little sister...so curious to see his reaction and begin their little relationship that will last a lifetime. I am still struggling to mourn a little bit the reality of Caden as an only child, even though I know our baby girl will only add to our joy and unity as a family. I am so ready to move on from these confusing emotions and just celebrate her being here and never remember life with out her. Mostly, I am praying for a healthy and safe delivery and a healthy baby girl.
So many people have told me what a gift little girls are, and I still don't even know all that that really means, but am excited to find out. I LOVE being a mama to a boy--while before he was born I didn't even know how to be a mama, I love how I have learned my little boy, see the unique traits God has given him, and slowly learn each day more and more how to parent a boy. And now I am entering a whole new ball game. New baby, new person, new personality, new gender, new everything. All I do know is it is going to involve a lot of bows and pink. And I love it. :)
Please be praying for us tomorrow--7am we check into Hoag and the rest...well, we will see how Baby Epperson's birth story plays out! I selfishly pray for quick--but really just want healthy and free of complications for both of us.
I suppose I should go to bed soon (as if I will sleep) since I have to call the hospital at 5am to make sure they have a bed open. One more check of the suitcase and then countdown the hours to March 15th--baby girl's birthday. Crazy.