I Can Wait

Lately I've been finding myself saying the phrase "I can't wait until..." a lot. "I can't wait until Tessa can sit up and play", "I can't wait until we can go on a family vacation", "I can't wait until this event is over at work", "I can't wait until we have a backyard", "I can't wait for Jon and I to have consistent date nights", I can't wait... I can't wait... I can't wait...While looking to future is exciting its no secret that constantly wishing for the future and/or bigger and better things can often blind you to what's going on in the present. So I am trying to cut that phrase out of my vocabulary when it comes to people asking me how I am, what's going on with the kids or my current situation. Because truly, I can wait. There's no hurry. There are great things going on right now. And to be real, even though there a few aspects of my life that are daily frustrating and inconvenient, there are many aspects of my life that will pass me by quickly if I don't stop, take in the moments and enjoy where I am at. I have a 10 week old who is as smiley as ever, and is just seconds away from giggling (I can feel it!). I have a 2 year old who says something hilarious and or adorable atleast every hour (my current favorites: 'Hey Big Mama!' (he recently discovered this adjective (big) and likes to attach it to everything--including my name. I am trying not to take it personal); his pretend games of hide and seek where he (quite obviously) hides things and then pretends to have NO idea where they went. "Where'd it go mama? (with hands in the air) Where'd it go?"; spontaneous outbursts of love--I hear him somewhere else in the house yelling "Mama! Mama!" then once he finds me he says "hug!" and proceeds to hug me and let me hold him. Sometimes it lasts a while, sometimes its only a second, but its one of my favorite things in the world.)
All that to say, life can be hard with 2 little ones, a job that is mentally and emotionally demanding, and all the other things that are demanded of all of us living this thing called life. But why wish for things to be over when I will soon be looking back wondering where time went as we so often do. Why not enjoy what we have, be thankful to the One who gave it to us, and listen to His voice as He teaches us through our circumstances and surroundings. None of this is ground breaking, or a new revelation we all haven't heard before...but its where I am at and a reminder I need. Maybe that is why I cry every time Trace Adkins song "You're Gonna Miss This" comes on. Cuz I don't wanna miss it. And while its fun and perfectly ok to dream, and hope and even plan, I pray it doesn't compromise my ability to be content. Because I CAN wait.